Reduce & become stress free? That's my hope.

I don’t have enough energy or time to take care of the possessions I already own and I don’t have a job to get more money to get more possessions so by default I’m becoming a mock-minimalist. I’m kinda excited about it.  With all the time in the world I still have too much to maintain, its spring and time to change this by de-cluttering.  Never did I think after two years being mostly unemployed I’d be more behind on projects than ever before, granted being ill hasn’t helped… but never mind that. Going forward, projects I can finish will be finished and those I can’t will be sold or given away.  No more treading water, seriously! (In the interest of full disclosure I should mention, in the background, Confessions of a Shopaholic is running in a cheesy way its strengthening my resolve.)

Hoarder, I am not. My house is mostly tidy and organized it feels clean to visitors. If you need something I know where it is and can get it to you in seconds. Its just that I have tooooooo much of everything! Here’s an example, I’m no fashionista but I have a closet that would make most women scream, 6x15 with ten foot ceilings and its full to the brim.  Shelving goes all the way up and more than one wall is covered with clothing rods.  Last month I was able to donated 10 brand new pairs of flip-flops to a woman in Africa who’s starting a business and I still have more in my closet I’ve never worn.

To do: Stitch on buttons and hem pants. Paint walls and put up trim. Fill out, mail in, scan, file, scrapbook and shred outdated paperwork.  Sort like things together, donate and find a spot for all the remaining items.  I will not stop until everything has a place. Two of my four vehicles are out! And really who needs 20 cookbooks or clothes in 8 different sizes? One of my two Cricut cutters and at least half the picture frames I own that have never had photos in them are gone!

LESS LESS LESS is my destination. Wish me luck.  

Family Photos, and everyone survived!

It may have helped that it was about 17 degrees outside... but we did not kill one another. This is a family photo first!

disheartend

I’m not a goody two shoe... but when did common courtesy and basic values become uncommon and not basic its disheartening.   

Recently its been difficult not being disappointed with people. I try to be accepting, I think I have an open mind, but time after time I feel let down. Kids are blatantly disrespectful, adults are intentionally deceitful. People feel they deserve more than they give, wanting A+ pay for D- work (if any work at all). Expectations so high they have to fail, and when they do these same people get mad. I believe its this attitude that causes riots and depression. People no longer seem to believe that doing good is right even if you’re not getting some sort of reward. They thrive on making people feel stupid or lame for being honest.

I live in a fairly affluent area and try to prevent my girls from becoming the ‘entitled’ kids. Too many of the kids here act like BRATS and expect (and still get) all the new toys, phones, game boxes, cameras and cars. I’ve watched most of these kids then use their parent’s gift to deceive their parents. And these are the kids who are depressed. My girls whine from time to time that they don’t have all the things their friends do. It falls to me to remind them that no matter how much they have there will always be someone with more. I also emphasize they can have anything they want if they earn enough to get it (providing its worth having of course). I do this in hopes that they grow up respecting what they have and knowing how to earn whatever they like.

I’m sick of people standing around with their hands out, while watching other do the work. The truly insulting thing is those same people are making fun of the hard workers! Then claiming they helped when the work is finished and wanting to be rewarded.

As a side note totally unrelated, I HATE AGGRESIVE PANHANDLERS!

I’m not really going anywhere with this rant… I just wanted to let it out.

Invation!

It’s an infestation! This is what greeted me when I entered my bathroom this afternoon. NOT COOL! Ants have been an issue since the house was built. The builder said it was “normal” not to have concrete under the tub and under the shower stall, I think he just ran out and didn’t want to have to get more to finish. Each year I put out ant killer inside my bathroom (as seen in the photo) when I notice a handful of ants roaming around, normally it takes care of the issue. NEVER have I seen it like this before! Last year I even caulked the holes, I didn’t see an ant again for 9 months.

I’m thinking of gathering spiders from the garden and releasing them in this area, reducing my infestation to only have a few bugs!


Out to buy more bug killer….Now I’m gonna have nightmares.

River Tacos - great for large groups

This is my go-to recipe for large groups... it's always a hit and sooo easy! Kids even love it!


Serves 4-5  - Sorry no photo this time.
1 can kidney beans
1/2 can black olives sliced
1/2 teaspoon garlic
1 1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
1 lb grated cheddar cheese
10 oz sour cream
10 oz salsa
2 diced tomatoes
1 diced avocado
   diced green onion to taste

Mix all together.
Add broken corn tortilla chips just before serving (or they go soggy).
Serve in flour tortilla cones, made with 1/2 a burrito shell.

(When I make large amounts I like to mix in black and red beans not just pinto)


Enjoy but don't eat to much cause this will fill you up for hours!

This Is How I Do It

The other day a former boyfriend pointed out “how I am.” His assessment of the way I negotiate thru relationships was at first amusing. As I’ve reflected on what he said some morsels of truth have endured. I hold a belief that the foundation of what others think about us always has some grain of truth.

Here are a few constants that thread thru all my relationships.

The Before – I’m more like guys… Where girls bend and contort themselves to get into relationships and fit into the guy’s world. I do my thing and go on with life and let relationships come as they may. This can intimidate guys, having to make a move on a girl who’s not just sitting around watching him play video games and bating her eyes at him, a girl who has a life and is living it. If he’s not brave enough or he doesn’t want me enough to make that leap, he’s not for me!

The Beginning - So giving… I’m possibly too giving. I make my partners life easy, totally comfortable with a natural relaxed flow. Happily putting everything on myself and carrying it. Requiring very little of him… because I want to see what he voluntarily invest, what value he puts on our relationship, what he wants to contributes. During this time I reserve my heart for future judgment. If I deem him worthy, my heart is no longer mine it belongs fully and solely to him. Nothing, nothing, nothing could dissuade me away from him.

The End(s) –

1) If I realize he’s less than worthy… I’m out! This can be a problem for him because it feels like the end of the world. I made his life so easy that when I’m gone it’s hard for him to fill the chasm. For me life gets less complicated, thus making my transition easier.

2) If he becomes complacent in his role but expectant of me, I view this as the lack of value he’s putting on Us. To remind him relationships like plants die if not cared for is not my role. It’s like thinking… well you ate for a few years you shouldn’t need to eat anymore. All things deteriorate if not maintained. This is when I walk away and never look back.  I can seem heartless and unyielding because I won’t renegotiate, and I don’t do second chances. (Side note – Sometimes it’s a real problem when I’ve given my heart away then discover he’s not worth it, it can take years to recover. Part is pride and part is how fully I relinquish my heart).

I don't do post breakup makeups! 'Cause I know I'm the best thing you've ever had in your life.


That’s my pattern, my personal M.O.  

So after this chat with my ex I’ve been wondering if I should work on this. I’m not perfect, expecting someone else never to trip up seems unfair. But I also don’t want to compromise my values or expectations of my partner… Now I really don’t know what is right or what to do!

Samoas and a good friend!

How many people can you say that someone has driven over 26 hours with 4 kids just to see you on your birthday? I can! Turning 33 was harder than any birthday I’ve ever had. It seems so close to 40 and over the hill… and I still feel so young (other than the illness).  What a treat it was to have a friend come take me out and make me forget about all that.  We spent my birthday playing at a park and flying kites. Then dinner at Café Rio and a movie topped off the night.  Side note- I really enjoyed Water for Elephants.

Additionally I was given 4 boxes of Samoas!!! Best Birthday ever!