Recently I've been spending some time with a friend of mine whose wife just passed away in November. Talking with him has stirred something in me. He has a deep love for his young wife (who passed after a long bout with cancer) and is struggling with dating again. Listening to him talk about not wanting to be alone reminded me that I am alone. This was a choice at first, after my divorce (years ago) I was against relationships. Bitter was a nice way to put it. But now being single has just become the norm and it may even be a rut that I'm living in. I've never been a hopeless romantic but I want to have someone to share my life with. I also don't want to waste my time on just anyone... I want to find the one who I can't live without and who I want to be with forever.
I've watched my friends all marry and have kids. I date but not enough... I'm not sure where to look for him.
I may have locked away my heart. I'm not sure why, people have asked me if I'm afraid of rejection.... I don't think so, Ive never really been rejected. I know I'm an excellent girlfriend, in fact most my ex's will tell you I'm the best girlfriend they ever had.
I'm not really going anywhere with this... I was just thinking about it.... and needed to put it out into the universe.
[Added later - I just remembered that when I was 21 and first getting married all the people I knew in Portland Oregon tried to encourage me to wait till I was in my early thirties. I was absolutely too young to get married at 21... and now might be the right time to think about it at 32.]
If you don't have one by Valentines Day I'll be your Valentine! As far as where to look, don't ask me, I know nothing about the dating scene. Never really felt like I was in it. Oh yeah, I never really was! Good luck honey bunny.
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